Golden Globes 2013: Never Thought I'd Say This But... (Emily Blunt)

I've never really "gotten" Emily Blunt. I think she's kind of plain and usually plays boring characters (except for the messed up lesbian she played in "Sunshine Cleaning") and there's just nothing about her that interests me. BUT. Last night she totally impressed me.

I may have been more than a little swayed by her jewelry choice because I think the probably very expensive earrings look like lucite wonders she got from a vending machine. How cool, right? Collecting my quarters...

Golden Globes 2013: Most Played-Out — Zooey Deschanel

Before I get into it, let me make one thing clear: I am not a Zooey Deschanel hater, like, at all. I think New Girl is a surprisingly funny, clever and entertaining show and her character is charming and loveable. So this pains me to say, but her Golden Globes look (especially for a nominee!) was stale, played-out, lack-luster.

She opted for a classic ball gown which, whatever, it's fine, but she then paired it with a half-up half-down hairstyle and PEARLS. Fucking PEARLS. There needs to be a moratorium put on "retro pearls" because they're flat and common and make the wearer LOOK flat and common. Pearls can be done right (see: Chanel S/S 2012) and I can totally get into them but not in this string-of-pearls Leave It To Beaver 1950's housewife way. Come onnnnnnn.

Golden Globes 2013: Best Hosts Ever - Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

Who's the genius who hired Tina and Amy to host the show this year? Was it the awesome lady /President of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, Dr. Aida Takla-O'Reilly? Whomever it was deserves some sort of distinction because last night was the best Golden Globes in a while (and I'm saying that as somebody who actually liked Ricky Gervais's "controversial" hosting year). They were comfortable on stage — years at SNL will help with that — and seemed to genuinely be enjoying themselves and one another.

Their red-carpet looks were completely different and both completely awesome. Tina looked maybe the most stunning I've ever seen her look (that HAIR! So full and shiny and lush) and Amy looked really, just, FUN. I'm obsessed with her 90's combo of strappy sandals and capris and I'm also really into the fact that she's doing BOOBS a lot lately (her Primetime Emmy's look was supa-hot). Please let them host again in 2014? Please?

Golden Globes 2013: Amanda Seyfried

I love this woman. She's the prettiest princess in all of the land and her voice in Les Miserables sounds like birds singing a beautiful morning song. Her dress wasn't earth-shattering but she looked incredible and her hairstylist somehow managed to make her hair look long and flowing while avoiding the dreaded Hollywood-Mermaid thing that almost everyone wears on the regz.

Although I'm pretty sure it's part of the dress, seeing her made me want to get a gold bar necklace like this one or this one.

Golden Globes 2013

ARMS

LOOK LISTEN I KNOW I'VE BEEN TOTALLY M.I.A. AND I KNOW YOU'RE ALL UP IN ARMS RE: MY INACTIVITY. Ugh who am I kidding nobody CARES ANYMORE.

OK I'll stop complaining and (maybe) stop using caps lock for the rest of this post to tell you this:
Cameron Diaz at the Golden Globes was BANANAS (oops capslock apologies). That phrase is only appropriate because if my sources are correct, Rachel Zoe styles Cameron.

Why I am obsessed with Cammy D at Golden Globes:

(plus MIDDLE PART hollllla)

palatable

holy calamity scream insanity all you ever gonna be's another great fan of me BREAK

Right now I REALLY REALLY want "orange drink", like, I'm CRAVING it. You know, orange drink? That stuff they used to put in the huge coolers at track and field days in school and it was served in those waxy McDonalds cups? No nutritional value whatsoever? MMMMM BABY
But lets talk about the Golden Globes. A few things:

• how WEIRD is it that there wasn't a show this year?! I hate to be a typical girl (and I didn't miss it until it wasn't there anymore) but I wish I could have seen all the beautiful dresses and diamonds and hair styles and WORST DRESSED and BEST DRESSED and MOST AWKWARD RED CARPET INTERVIEW and all of that. Access Hollywood hosts did NOT a good show make. Could I possibly be MORE irritated by Billy Bush (that is SO not your real name) and Nancy O'dell?

• ROCK ON TO THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE AND MOVIES:

– Best Actress, Comedy or Musical Series:
Tina Fey, 30 Rock
FUCK yes Tina Fey. What an awesome actress/writer/producer/whatever else she does that probably makes her job=her whole life but in turn makes my life=awesome.

– Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture:
Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men
Having literally SHIELDED MY EYES from the screen every time he appeared in this movie, I'd say he deserves this. He (no joke) had me shaking with fear as the villain in this movie. Kudos to the Coen Brothers as well.

– Best Supporting Actor, Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
Jeremy Piven, Entourage
The Pivs blowin' up like I thought he would. I cannot express my love for the genius that is Ari Gold. Lets hug it out you little bitch.

• I wanted to see these pretty badly before but now I want to see There Will Be Blood and La Vie en Rose more than ever ever ever.
• The Golden Globes are never complete without a little Beyonce bad posing action (from last year's red carpet) (side note: what was Beyonce actually doing at the Golden Globes?)