Golden Globes 2013: Most Played-Out — Zooey Deschanel

Before I get into it, let me make one thing clear: I am not a Zooey Deschanel hater, like, at all. I think New Girl is a surprisingly funny, clever and entertaining show and her character is charming and loveable. So this pains me to say, but her Golden Globes look (especially for a nominee!) was stale, played-out, lack-luster.

She opted for a classic ball gown which, whatever, it's fine, but she then paired it with a half-up half-down hairstyle and PEARLS. Fucking PEARLS. There needs to be a moratorium put on "retro pearls" because they're flat and common and make the wearer LOOK flat and common. Pearls can be done right (see: Chanel S/S 2012) and I can totally get into them but not in this string-of-pearls Leave It To Beaver 1950's housewife way. Come onnnnnnn.